Life in the Ghetto

Why?

2006-04-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Todays halocho

2006-04-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't the time to blog much recently but this one is short.
I have recently started to learn halochos yomi. Yesterdays was long. Today is short & hit home & made me smile.

"Leolom, yehei odom rogil lomar: Kol ma deovid Rachmono - letav ovid!"

The whole time, a person should continuously say: All that Hashem - The Merciful one does - He does it for the good!

Despite what I or anyone may think.

Issues to consider in choosing a date; Part 37 - TV.

2006-04-11T03:48:00.000-07:00

There are numerous issues to consider when choosing a life partner. Depending on what (to borrow a phrase from Tamara) "brand Judaism" you come from and practice, some issues will be a no brainer. For instance Kashrus - for me it doesn't even come into question whether or not I'm going to use the same cutlery for meat & milk or buy cheese from non Jewish sources. But there are some lines which will be undefined - eg hashgocho I do/will adhere to, and could be a point of discussion.

One of the issues which inevitably comes up, is movies & tv. It is a point which in my mind is clear, but in practice the boundaries are blurred.

TV in essence is not bad, like anything and everything in this world, it can be used for the good or the bad. The fact that it is - and most probably will be until moshiach comes, generally, a low form of entertainment. You can argue all you want that it has many adivantages and good aspects, but the fact remains is that it has many negatives which far outweigh the good. There is also the fact that it is such a time waster. Bittul zman is something you can never undo. Watching 22 grown men run around a football field chasing a pigs bladder, only to kick/throw it away when they get to the other end, and cheer when they manage to get it through 2 posts ... Playing is one thing, but watching it can only be bittul zman at best. There are plenty of informative programs: the news / current affairs and world developments, as well as the weather (where would the brits be without the weather reports!), nature programs, scientific programs etc, plenty which are totally kosher too.

Another reason you could say is the relaxing factor. After a long hard day, you sometimes need sometime to unwind, or just stam want to relax and watch a movie - TV can be a good outlet. But ultimately, there are more productive things one can do. At the end of it, what did you ultimately get out of it? What now? You now know the meaning of life? Find inner meaning? If anything, you mind gets filled with more useless trash or worse. Ok, there are some kosher things out there too and maybe some with a message but they are few and far between.

There is the issue of kids too. Plenty more educational stuff and kids absorb everything, so tv could be a good tool for it, but it also turns you into zombie like state,not thinking for oneself, being fed all the information. But the risk is too high that they get addicted to it and/or see things which they shouldn't and corrupt their mind - unlikely they wont.

So why the question? It seems like I have the answer already.

The thing is, I was brought up with it and there is a TV where I'm living now. Upon returning from yeshiva, I was determined not to watch any more ( I haven't been to the movies for years now,) but a live TV is hard to ignore and over time the cathode ray oscilloscope box drags you back into its multi colored flickering light enticing screen. I have to admit, I have enticed and am under the influence - I have become hooked on certain TV soaps (Eastenders being a favorite) but I hope that when not living under the same roof as one, the pull will reduce and I will not be bothered.

It is an avodah I am working on and hope to overcome.

What do YOU think on the matter?

-~-~-~-

SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE:
If this is not hashgocho, I don't know what it- while writing this, lyrics I am listening to:
"But now see beyond myself,
I opened up my world to you.
But now my mind is clear to me,
you opened up your world to me."

Brownie points to who know which song, but you need to listen to rest of song too. (The more I listen to it, the more meaning I read into it.)

Why? (cont.)

2006-03-30T11:19:00.000-08:00

Why did it have to end like that?
Its not a recent date I've been on, but still, it bothers me that it did end like that. Not that I am infatuated with her - I hardley know her - we only spoke for like 2 hours max. I just wanted to get to know her as it all seems fine on paper. I'd much prefer hearing the truth, or coming to a conclusion, rather than be kept in the dark.
For some reason, I still live in hope.

Israeli elections: "What about the wogs?"

2006-03-29T03:39:00.000-08:00

Everywhere you go here, very few people are talking about the elections. Now that it is over, there are a few comments / people asking about the results. This one comment basicly sums up the politically correct society that <s>we</s> I live in:

A group of Jews I overheard this morning were discussing the outcome; who is the new PM, which party got the most seats, & how many seats the 'frum' parties got. One particulary 'upstanding' member of society - a high court judge then says,
"What about the wogs?, How many seats did they get?"
(He was refering to the sephardim.) I don't know about you, but I find it typical of the society we live in (/around here at least), that people put on a facade of PCness, yet even the upper echelons of the law makers (perhaps even more so) are still living in the Victorian era. But its not only that, this was Jew about Jew, asked it totally serious well meaning manner.
Perhaps its just a reflection of the politcal situation anyway - a fractured and antagonistic misunderstood society.

Runinng running

2006-03-24T01:27:00.000-08:00

running.

Search look run.
I get there - nothing is found.
Running running,
always looking,
trying to find.
I open the cupboard,
it is empty.
Quickly move onto the next.
Open, close. Open close.
There is nothing to eat.
Run, search out.
Run round the corner,
hopeing to find,
thinking it'll be there,
but I keep going round.
Looking searching running.
The train is about to go. Run.
Minyan is about to start.
Run.
She is expecting me.
Run.
Havent eaten all week, Shabbos food needs to be bought.
Run.
But next week will be the same.
Always running.

Wry sence of humour?

2006-03-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

Actual picture taken from advert seen on train:

Is it just me, or does any one else think there is there someone in the industry with a yiddishe kop?!

The world is closing in

2006-03-21T01:39:00.000-08:00

Once again, I spent this past shabbos with another blogger. Its kinda like an underground cult I guess, people moving within society hideing a second personality.

Actually, over the weekend I met up with (at least) 3 other bloggers too. It always completes the circle and makes things a little clearer. As has been said numerous times before, and I'm sure I wont be the last either - the world seems to get smaller by the day. This wont be last time, and I am still hopeing to meet at least another 3 in the next few weeks. Not sure what is driving me more: the exotic fascination of something different, or the rush from the fear of the unknown! Its always interesting.If you want to add to the list, drop me a line.

I have a few pictures too!
(I MAY update this if I have some time. )

Shabbos

2006-03-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

This past shabbos gave was great but mixed feelings. A bit of a mix of things. Things I'd like to have in my home BE"H - family atmosphere & guests. All meals were very different and I hope I can imitate some of the traits found there. But I dont think the two worlds - however close to each other, really work in practice

I spent Shabbos with two beautiful girls and wish I could have taken them both (or at least one) home! The only problem being that I'd be accused of cradle snatching as they were both under 3 years old. Kids are amazing - and like sponges - absorbing information at an incredible rate, unlimited sources of energy and are incredibly cute. And I really want my own soon.

I also met up with Kishmech & TheGirl which was a little daunting at first (even though it wasn't the first time) but we had a good time. Thanks.
I hope to meet a few more bloggers in the next week or two - the month is yet young!

PURIM SAMEACH TO YOU ALL.

Hashgocho Protis is revealed once more

2006-03-10T01:33:00.000-08:00

Two recent maisim shehoyo I have to share.

(I don't think the parties involved read this, but if you are, sorry for telling your story, but it is a great one.) On being called for jury service, one would have thought it is often difficult to get out of it, but this time the impossible proved to be possible. The young emesdika frum profesional, not knowing how to get out of it goes along to court. They are quickly dissmissed as were previosly sued for 6 million.
Some years earlier, this law abiding citizen, as a young driver got into small tiff with another driver. Being the inexperienced one, the other driver had decided to try and sue. After much hassle with lawyers and the like, the claim was eventually dismissed.
You may not see it at the time but everything happens for a reason. The inconvinience at one time could be to aleviate other things at another.

As with most people online, personal details given out were sparce. The two had been corresponding for a while, giving each other advise, sharing amusing incidents and general chit chat. Just by chance however, one insignificant detail slipped out. One says are you serious - why didnt you tell me earlier. Other responds - b/c its not important. Slowly the larger picture builds up and it turns out they know each other in real life, but have been corresponding in another life online for months! I'm sure this is not the only case like this, does anyone have any similar?

A third story of explicit hashgocho I know is about to unfold. I can't tell it here before it happends, but shall endevour to after Shabbos, subject to all parties agreeing.

ITS GOING TO BE FUN!

Hope you all have a Good Shabbos to Remember.

בסיעתא דשמיא

2006-03-06T10:23:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt, there's nowhere to turn.
Things seem confused, no one's concerned.
The times we live in are, oh, so dark,
A little faith, though, lights a spark,
Clears our vision, eases pain,
Hope arises again. Hope arises again.

B'siyatta Dishmaya, what ever I do,
When I need Him to help me, He'll always come through.
Never will I be alone,
With His help I can stand on my own.
B'siyatta Dishmaya, whatever will be,
All the world that I hope for is open to me.
I need Him to show me the way,
B'siyatta Dishmaya.

Sometimes we feel the strength of our hand
Can bring us success, but we don't understand,
It's not always the way it seems.
Hashem alone provides our means,
And stands behind every circumstance.
No, it's not just by chance.
It's not only by chance.

Prayer after prayer, tear after tear,
Begging for help for heaven to hear.
When Hashem is at our side,
Every door is open wide.
Our only hope is to look to the sky,
Where he waits for our cry.
Where he waits for our cry.

B'siyatta Dishmaya, what ever we do,
When we need Him to help us, He'll always come through.
Never will we be alone,
With His help we can stand on our own.
We need Siyatta Dishmaya, whatever will be,
All the world that we hope for is open, you'll see.
Just ask Him to show us the way,
בסיעתא דשמיא.

Mishnichnas Adar, Marbim b' ONLYTZARAS

2006-02-28T16:45:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again when all sense and reasoning goes out the window when it comes to having a laugh. But its all worth it in the end, because if you can laugh at the unhappy things, you'll find anything funny! Especially when you see the parody in the mudane and turn it into one of the most well thought out and amusing Purim Torah's around. Onlysimchas.com's twisted brother presents:

With 6.5 people working all year to bring us an updated version, ONLYTZARAS.COM is back with version 2. With even more Tzoros listed, from the ridiculous to the mundane, from the death of Polly Parrot , to the divorce of Torah & Madda, to Dschinghis Khan's annoyance at Yidden!

With no choice but to raise it from the dead, the site's creators still have illustrious plans for the site's future. "I remembered how much reward there is for this type of work, absolutely none at all." Their future plans include a blog, wiki, and message board, because every site needs them. Strategic alliances have already been signed with Iran and Syria. Apart from the new galleries, with more Tzoros to kvell about, a number of other little things were changed for this year in the basic template, so keep your eye out for them.

Don't forget to sign up and login as a member (currently registered users can also take advantage of the service directory, full of entries for everything from professional blackmailers to plastic surgeons), for their exclusive mailing list, where you will be entitled to grant permission for the data submitted to be given out to one or more of the following entity's:

US Government
Iranian Government
Walmart
Microsoft
National Association of Annoying Spammers

You have no excuse not to visit now! Don't say you weren't told!

The ball has begun to roll

2006-02-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

"I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes..."

Yesterday I was speaking to another blogger for the first time. Its a bit odd, since (as someone recently described it to me), reading someones personal blog then meeting them, is like seeing someone in the shower and then going out with them - it just isn't the normal way of going about things.

That being said, I just spoke to another blogger. Yes its all sureal, but I'm past worrying. I'm going to go for it, 'coz this coming month is party month! MISHENICHNAS ADAR, MARBIM BESIMCHA! I am planning a few blogger meetings and so are others, to which I hope to attend. As for finding my bashert, I am still ever hopeful, but Adar is a good a month as any. I am not going to let that intefere with the party month.

Growing old

2006-02-23T01:02:00.000-08:00

It was Tafka going slightly mad parrot who reminded me of a post I was going to write but hadnt yet.
What is worse, losing ones hair or having it turn grey / white? Receding hairline is one thing but what about when it recedes so far, that there is little left on top?

There were guys in my class in high school whos hair was turning grey, and guys who were losing their hair that by the time we graduated, they were bald. I always prefered one of them happening to me than the other, (naïvely thinking that only one could happen to one person), but now I'm not so sure.

I once went with a friend to his grandfather, who had this really long white beard, and decided I'd also want a long white beard - but not at 16, (nor did I want a short beard), but one can't really pick something like that.

White hair is (supposedly) distinguished looking, and some birds dig a slap head, but I'd still prefer to have my full head of hair, which isn't white. B"H its not that bad yet, but what do you think?

I can see clearly now the rain is gone

2006-02-21T05:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, however much you try, nothing goes right. In fact, often. The harder you try, the worse it gets. This was NOT one of those times.

I don't really know how it happened, but I can clearly see the Hashgocho this time. I don't know what it all means, but when things are out of the ordinary, it is often more apparent. (True, I should see the hashgocho clearly when things are ordinary too, but one falls into the trap of thinking it is 'normal'.)

Actually, thinking about it now, I can retrace a few of the steps that have led to this mornings events. I don't want to spoil things by saying too much prematurely, but perhaps I'm also seeing things thata rent there, just because I'd like to.

It also started many moons ago, when I was just a toddler. At that tender age, it is a little difficult to pick your friends - one has to make do with whomever one is sectioned off with in the communal nursery. As it so happends, 'Tommy' and I became good friends - but just as we were becoming best buddies, we was separated. He was sent to one school and I to another. Once we had realized what had happened, (and could walk,) it was too late, he was in the opposing school - we couldent be friends now.

FAST FORWARD 10 years later. I can't recall when or how, but through mutual friends, I meet someone else in another school, but living in the same area. We kept on meeting around the hood, and became aquainted. He went off to a differnt yeshiva and hadnt really heard from him since.

Until about a month ago, I wouldent have given either of these 2 guys much thought - until I just 'happened' to be at each of their weddings (just 'coincidence') (both different places/times).

Then today, through totally unrelated course events, I happen to run into both of them. Both stories of hashgocho, both needing to happen at the same time.

BUT, that wasnt just it. Whatever I did this morning, I could see there was also a certain amount of hashgocho there too. A certain guy - from the other end of the world came to mind this morning, who I haven't spoken to/ been in contact with in ages, and suggested him for a shidduch. I then find I have an email from him.
If you want a piece of it too, I'm sure there is enough to go round - just contact me!

Meeting new friends

2006-02-14T23:29:00.000-08:00

At all times in life, one comes across people who you become friendly with due to common circumstances or common interests. Sometimes the friendship can fade when the common interest fades too. I can't say how it will pan out in the long term but meeting new people is always interesting.

One interesting person I met recently is the same age as I, brought up very similar way, similar place, similar in yidishkeit, similar job... Overall, running virtually parallel lives, but never along the same tracks. Ok, his personality is very different, but is funny how you think your life is unique while others are running in tandem and by a slight inconsistency in the fabric of the matrix, your lives cross.

Online friends are often the most varied. Fleeting instances of bonding, often revealing ones deepest secrets to a stranger. Possibly a completely false facade, but often developing into long term real life friendships. These are the ones that would never happen in 'reality' but somehow manage 'the jump'. Like one that happened last week and possibly another this week. Its gonna be fun!

I happened to chat to someone last week, who, through common mutual friends and common circumstances, we started chatting. She seemed nice enough and I wouldn't have given it another thought afterward if there wasn't this one thing that really seemed strange. She wouldn't tell me her name. This wasn't some online freak encounter but meeting with mutual mutual friends. We discuss this tenuous connection and she asks my name, so I tell her. She says,

"Don't you work as a web designer or something?"
I'm like, "ummm, not as my main job"
"well. Isn't your name Max or Steve?"
"No, I already told you my name is ****"
"Ah... Ok. Where are you from? "
"Golders Green, how about you?"
"I'm from Stamford Hill"
"I don't think I got your last name..."
"I'd rather not say!"
"haha funny..."
"I'm not going to tell you."

((I thought straight away - I'm gonna have to blog this!!))

I was a bit gobsmacked. This was reality? But it does seem that people from Stamford Hill (correct me if I'm wrong) are much more elusive and circumspect than others. Not only online, but even in real life.

I then saw her a week later - same place same time and just got a sign of recognition. I guess I'll see her again same time & place this week. Maybe this time I'll get a response from her.

Long lost friends?

2006-02-10T01:49:00.000-08:00

Like a four leaf clover, a natural mutation in the fabric of life; a rare occurrence, but is bound to happen somewhere. No, I am not talking about the Euro Lotto multi rollover, amounting to more than Â65 Million for 3 lucky(? Still one not claimed though) winners (but will address that in another post), I am talking about crossing paths with long lost buddies.

Out of 'coincidence', there have been many people recently that I have becomereacquaintedd with from the past. Not so much that we lost contact, but just drifted apart over time. It wasn't that I was trying to get in touch with them, it's just that our paths have once again run side by side.

The first one was a 'frum' friend from school who I was very friendly with back then. I was eating out on Shabbos, and I just happened to go to adifferentt shul for mincha - different to where I'd normally go to if I was in that part of town. So I stay for Seuda Shelishit, and this old friend just happened to go to this different shul on this occasion too. We were sitting not too far from one another, but instead of catching up with one another, he just makes snide comments to others about me. Yes he is married and has settled down but seemed to find anything I had done / doing now / not done, a reason to joke about. Even though he was more-or-less on home turf, he was trying to look good in his new 'friends' eyes, I don't think it made much difference.

Second occasion, I was chilling in my usual place, when I see an old friend from (different) school. I was not too friendly with them then, but when youhaven'tt seen / heard about other in such long time, you inevitably start chatting. Hewasn'tt so frum back then but told me he is becoming more religious now. We were chatting for a while, until he had to go says, "forgive me, I know its rude, but I can't remember you name," and before I could answer, he said, "do you remember mine?"
It was on the tip of mytonguee before, but my mind went blank.
We had a good laugh about it, exchanged contact details and I often see him around now. A decent bloke.

The third reaquaintance, was with someone who I barely knew back then, but would follow me around. I tried back then to politely turn them away, but they just got stroppy. I can't recall how it ended - again, probably through lack of contact over time. Now I find that they have a blog! Let the past be bygones, but I can now see the irony to it.

HAVE A SHABBAT SHALOM Y'ALL.

I need more time

2006-01-28T23:26:00.000-08:00

She’s electric
She’s in a family full of eccentrics
She’s done things I’ve never expected
And I need more time.

She’s got a sister
And Gd only knows how I’ve missed her
And on the palm of her hand is a blister
And I need more time.

And I want you to know
I’ve got my mind made up now
But I need more time
And I want you to say
Do you know what I’m saying?
But I need more.

’cuz I’ll be you and you’ll be me
there’s lots and lots for us to see
lots and lots for us to do
she is electric
can I be electric too?

She’s got a brother
We don’t get on with one another
But I quite fancy her mother
And I think that she likes me.

She’s got a cousin
(In fact she’s got 'bout a dozen)
She’s got one in the oven
But it’s nothing to do with me.

And I want you to know
I’ve got my mind made up now
But I need more time
And I want you to say
Do you know what I’m saying
But I need more
’cuz I’ll be you and you’ll be me
there’s lots and lots for us to see,
there’s lots and lots for us to do,
she is electric,
Can I be electric too?
Can I be electric too?

Ode to my Viking friend

2006-01-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

He has now left,
left me to fend for myself.
I am not sure I can now cope,
but have no choice other than to try.

He was the only one who had any faith in me,
calling me 'a doubting Thomas',
when he knew I could get though it.

He knew, that when I wanted his opinion,
it was a time to worry,
'cause if I had a problem,
it would now also be his.

The only one who knew me both in real life and as a blogger,
never confusing the two,
always having the utmost respect for me,
however much I put him down.

Would never have a good laugh at my expense,
despite the opportunities.
He is now gone and I am thinking of giving up too.
There is little hope of replacing him,
no one can replace the big Viking man.

I don't think he will ever read this,
but if you do, please don't lose touch (and leave a comment).
Thank you for everything.

ISRAEL: Vacation or Pilgrimage?

2006-01-12T01:29:00.000-08:00

I really need a vacation. To get away from work, get away from the mudane dreary life. A break from this cold, gray, stifling ghetto and do something different. To clear my mind and relax.

"Have you seen those adverts around ?" my friend in the office asked me. "Those holiday ones for Israel. It really makes me want to go." (He can't. Isn't allowed. Something to do with him being Muslim . . .)

Like all tourist adverts, they show the best parts of the country and give it a marketing twist. I on the one hand want to go back and feel the kudusha The Holy Land has to offer, and see some friends, maybe some gedolim.

On the other, I really want to get away from it all, relax in hot climes for a while without a care in the world - just like the adverts show.

It all seems like a bit of a contradiction to me; the totally secular and the ultra holy, all living side by side. Two sides of the same coin. It all seems to live quite happily together here in golus but there they are much more and are poles apart.

For example (and similar things have happened before), a house-mate had a friend over - a secular Israeli. He just couldn't understand that I could be religious if I worked, living both in this world and the next.

I do want to get away and also want to go to Israel.
So why don't I?

What is love.

2006-01-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

In last weeks Sedra, Parshas Vayigash, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, specifically his only full brother - Binyomin. They fall on each others shoulders and cry. After not seeing each other in 14(?) years, this would seem natural and one would think that they were crying out of happiness to be reunited.

So what does the classic, famous commentator Rashi say:

They were each crying for the future destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh (Temple) / loosing the Mishkon (Tabernacle).

In the portion of Binyomin would be built the 2 Botei Mikdosh - both of which Yosef could see would be destroyed and was crying for. In the portion of Yosef (Efrayim) would be Shilo - where the Mishkon was for only a short time, which Binyomin could see and was crying for.

SURELY, when close brothers who hadn't seen each other in such a long time, they would be crying tears of joy, excitement, happiness, and not be crying out of sadness for what will be in the future.

The reason is because they each loved each other so much that when the other would be loseing something (even if it will be in the future), each was sad for his brother.

They were not happy and crying tears of joy for getting back what they had lost - that would be selfish, but each thinking of his brother.

True love is not what will make me happy but being happy because the other is happy.

OTHER BLOGGERS have mentioned similar things to this before and I am sure it is worth repeating. There are some who think about themselves, and others, who's self is dedicating themselves to others.

There is a story told about a great Rov - Reb Chayim Shmulevitz (I think), who's wife had a bad leg and she was in pain. They both went to the Doctor, where R' Chayim says my wife's leg is hurting BOTH of US.

My heart is hurting both of us.

I am still looking for true love.

Yawn

2006-01-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

:Blink: :Blink: :Streeeeeeetch:

Good Morning Ghetto !

I have decided to emerge from hibernation (once again) and see how the world looks from here! Even though I am not technically, physically back in The Ghetto, I am close enough for it to be called the same place. The view from here needs addressing once again (- my usual rantings), and as I have been a little busy recently, I have a lot to say! I am still single and therefore still not any happier with "the system", shadchonim, or dating life in general; the way Jews act in the big wide world and how we are viewed by our host nation.
I hope I wont need to delete any of it again [like I did last time(s)], but to share my feelings and maybe(?) get some feed-back.
Stay tuned!

why why why why why

2005-09-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Why is life so complicated?
Why can't one thing in life go smoothly at the moment?
Why are there unnecessary trials?
Why do I still insist on blogging?
Why is the Earth flat?

The serious bit

2005-09-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Ghetto. Feel free to browse around, enjoying the sites. Welcome to this place I call my own.

About me

2004-07-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Just a little about me.

Been to Jewish Elementary school, high school and then Yeshiva in Israel. I have now finished college and am now looking for a job. (that was brief!)

There are quite a few people I get advise from, actually nearly everybody I come across in some way or another, but I've probably gained most of my online writing and knowledge from Martin Bodek and from Burry Katz. Even though I don't think I know them personally, I know them from their sites'.

As I'm quite creative (even if I say so myself) I've put together a few sites myself, but not about myself as, well... well I just haven't - yet. I dabble in this-and-that, but don't really express myself in anything, so a blog seemed to be the next thing to do.

At the moment, apart from filling in application forms, sending my CV out to companies, going for interviews, etc, I have been trying to find a wife! Even though I've been on a few shidduchim throughout college, I got bags of time now, so it is just the obvious time to do it! I'm not involved with anyone at present, but I'm working on it. I'll keep you posted!